Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
