the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
