mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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