New low: just hacked my moms facebook
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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