Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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