woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
This is classic penis vs brain.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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