Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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