I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
