Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
