I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
