he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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