fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
she smelled like a LAN party
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
