I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize