I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
