so explain again why im purple
no
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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