Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
