you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
