I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
