Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
