Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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