hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
