Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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