$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
