he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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