I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
