Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
