I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
