You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He keeps bees of course he's weird
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
