i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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