Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
