she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
