i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
His nipple licking is glorious
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