you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B