Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs