great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?