i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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