haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
