Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.