Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them

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(904): View more from Florida

You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.

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(217): View more from Illinois

This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.

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(716): View more from New York

I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(847): View more from Illinois

The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...

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(719): View more from Colorado

I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you

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