first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
please don't ironically join a cult
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
