Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
