My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
