After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
His nipple licking is glorious
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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