Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
