I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
