he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
