Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
