You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
