So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
