We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
