I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Go after that dick
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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