He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize