Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
well you can't waste a boner
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
