It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
