Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
