there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
