how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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