i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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