I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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