It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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