You really coming over, don't trick.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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