If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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