He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
how drunk are you?
Several
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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