At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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