Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
