so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
