i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
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