i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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