i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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