Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
