So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
