I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Success! We fucked roommates!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
