I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
