is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
